DJ President!

DJ President!

I got really excited when I heard there was a coup to oust the standing President of Madagascar. This is not because I am a fan of coups, or military intervention, or, really, Madagascar (until last week I had thought the island’s population comprised entirely of lemurs). No, what sparked my interest was who the military was going to install.

A 34 year-old DJ.

“DJ PRESIDENT!” I yelled as I walked around the office. “DJ PRESIDENT!” I enthusiastically screamed at friends. “DJ PRESIDENT!” I crowed at perfect strangers, the maniacal drool frothing from my mouth and dropping on the ground to  form the words “DJ President.”

DJ President tickled my fancy the way no political leader or movement has. Young, hip, and armed with mad skillz, I was certain this island nation was on to something wonderful. Our president may be the subject of hipster street art and can make fun of the disabled, but I have no doubt he would be decimated in a one-on-one scratch battle. His street cred has been tacked on by the media, paling in comparison–our Ringo to their Lennon, our Brown to their Sarkozy.

Unfortunately, I did research, AKA read more than just the headline of the BBC article on Madagascar. Apparently DJ President is a horrible man who is destroying the foundation of Madagascar’s democracy, and his rise to power is greatly feared. It was hard to hold enthusiasm after reading comments left by Madagascarians which amounted to “Help, our government is being shut down,” and ” Yes we know he’s a DJ–that doesn’t mean he gets to take away our rights.”

If only DJ President weren’t a force for evil!

Imagine the good he could do, besides make people aware that there were more than lemurs on Madagascar. I see DJ President not as a man but as a movement–a record player in every home, a stereo system in every garage. Mandatory sound experimentation classes, programs devoted to sending other nations the People’s Mix Tapes, wrapped in their homemade Zines. A haven for skinny jeans and headphones, a place where everyone would belong except those who have shitty taste in music. And maybe a man who’d finally rid Madagascar’s of it’s 70% poverty rate!

Unfortunately, such things will never be. I just hope the rest of the world supports Africa in its universal condemnation of his actions–and perhaps this will finally tear the blinders off the UN when it comes to its neglect of humanity’s homeland.

DJ Dictator…to you I dedicate this post.